JEALOUSY

You can stop this destructive behavior with hypnotherapy!

When a person is jealous, it usually means he or she is insecure about something. Jealousy is an angry feeling that stems from a belief that there is only a finite amount of love to go around and that your source of love is being diminished by the presence of another person. This means that it is an emotion that has evolved to protect one’s resources, particularly love and nurturing. It is an unpleasant emotion to experience and is very hard to shake.

Why are People Jealous?

A desire to control
Intense possessiveness
Fear of being abandoned or betrayed
A misguided sense of ownership of your spouse
Unrealistic expectations about marriage in general
Fear of losing someone or something important to them
Unrealistic expectations about your relationship
Hurtful experience of abandonment in the past
Poor self-image
Insecurity

Jealous individuals experience a multitude of feelings including fear, anger, humiliation, sense of failure, feeling suspicious, threatened, rage, grief, worry, envy, sadness, doubt, pain, and self-pity.

A small amount of jealousy in any relationship is considered a good/normal thing because it shows that deep emotions are tied to this relationship. When jealousy is mild and occasional, it reminds the couples not to take each other for granted. It encourages couples to appreciate each other and make a conscious effort to make sure the other person feels valued. Jealousy heightens emotions, making love feel stronger and sex more passionate

But when it’s intense or irrational, the story is very different; when you get to the point where you cannot even say a word to a member of the opposite sex at a party because you fear the inevitable wrath which will follow from your lover when you get home, your relationship is in jeopardy

Irrational jealousy means that your emotions are not based on a fair appraisal of the situation, and that you are wasting your energies. Possibly, this could lead to the destruction of an already existing relationship, or the loss of an opportunity to develop a relationship

Irrational jealousy can poison any relationship! For example, it can ruin good communication between people, causing a downward spiral of unfounded arguments and fights. Clear, sensitive open communication is the key

Eliminating jealousy is not a quick process. Jealousy is a trait of character, a frame of mind and an emotion, and as such getting rid of it is a gradual evolution that requires work, self-reflection, patience, and persistence

The great news is that the rewards of dealing with and overcoming jealousy will likely keep you free of jealousy for the rest of your life and will make your future relationships much more successful.

So, what are the steps that you can take to deal with and overcome jealousy and possessiveness?

The first and the most important step in dealing with jealousy is, like with many other issues is recognizing that you have a problem. Most people who have jealousy issues are in denial and refuse to admit that their behavior and perception are irrational and their lack of trust is unsubstantiated by any real facts. Accept the fact that whether you trust your partner or not, whether you question his actions or not, and whether you “spy” on him has no positive effect on his behavior and faithfulness

If a man or a woman wants to cheat, he / she will find a way to cheat, and there is nothing you can do to prevent it.

So, stop it! Stop assuming the worst about him. Stop wondering where he is and what he is doing at any given moment! Assume the best about your partner and his faithfulness to you until and unless you have real reasons to believe otherwise.

Your efforts to keep your partner have no positive effect on your relationship. If anything, it might put excess pressure on that person, something that no one enjoys and tolerates for very long.

Remember that the best “leash” is the loose one or even better, a total absence thereof.

Keep in mind that the only reason, the only thing that keeps your partner around you is his desire to be with you. Nothing else keeps either of you near each other. And his desire to be with you comes not from your pressure, your being jealous or your attempts to convince him to be faithful to you but from your other qualities that make you attractive and desirable.

Your source of jealousy might stem from past experiences with girlfriends. If you’ve been cheated on, this may cause you to be more possessive of her for fear of repetition. Even if she doesn’t give you any reason to doubt her, you become increasingly desperate to hold onto the relationship and prevent potentially hazardous situations at all costs.

Similarly, the reverse could be the case. You’ve been unfaithful in the past, and, not wanting the tables turn on you, you take drastic moves to ensure you are the sole object of her desire.

How do you control jealousy if you’re on the receiving end?

Get the individual to discuss his feelings to you. Most times, jealous people don’t want to be reasonable or logical. Mentioning a person’s jealous behavior is asking for confrontation so it could be quite a challenge getting him to open up.

Re-examine your actions to determine if they are appropriate with others.

Ask a trusted friend to provide an objective view of the situation.

Avoid placing yourself in compromising positions that could be interpreted differently

Get out if you can’t help it.

What if you’re the dealer?

Understand that you’re only destroying the relationship that you’re trying to save. Jealousy annihilates love even though you think it is a legitimate weapon of defense to protect what is rightfully yours.

You will only end up making your partner retaliate in disgust. The best thing you can do is open line for communication. Tell your partner how you feel as soon as you start feeling that way and believe her when she calms your heart. When you seek reassurance don’t nag or bully, but rather share your insecurities and ask for help to overcome the problem.

A chronically jealous spouse will try to control a relationship through exaggeration, self-pity, lies, threats and/or manipulation. When the other partner resists, the jealous person reacts by becoming even more controlling.

Whether you are the jealous partner or whether your spouse is the jealous one, irrational jealousy can eventually destroy your marriage.

What are the Consequences of Irrational Jealousy in Marriage?

Anger
Depression
Defensiveness
More arguments
Desire for revenge
Constant questioning
Increased lack of trust
Need for continual reassurance
End of your marriage

If you have tried everything and nothing has worked,
hypnotherapy can really help you overcome jealousy!

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